The oddly surreal reality of you...
I think the disappointment has been too often and too great to truly appreciate the reality that is my life...at this very moment. I am currently 7 weeks and 6 days pregnant. Pregnant...huh...pregnant... I still can't wrap my conscious brain around that word. I am...blank. I have no words, really. I am scared. I am worried. I am nervous. I am ecstatic. I am pregnant. I am pregnant! It was March 13th that Tom flew. It was that day, your dad lost the one man who meant the world to him. I am so glad you didn't have to witness the pain he went through. Granted, I wish you could have met your grandfather, but it was hard to witness. I felt out of place. I left like I couldn't fix the heartache. It threw me back to when I lost your uncle Andy. When we found out your grandpa was sick and had stage 4 lung cancer, my desire for you became so much stronger. I wanted him to hold you just once. One time if possible. If only to take the mundane and scariness of waiting...